Nav noslēpums,ka Twitterī ir reģistrējušās vairākas slavenības,kas bieži ietvīto ko smieklīgu. Apkopoju labākos(pēc manām domām) Family Guy personāžu tvītus. Ceru,ka patiks un ceru,ka šāds raksts iepriekš nav ticis pievienots.
Pīters Griffins ( Peter Griffin ) http://twitter.com/PeterGriffinn
1)Elementary math problems are weird. "'I had 10 chocolate bars and ate 9. What do I have now?'" Oh, I don't know, DIABETES MAYBE."
2)"Boob" is the perfect word. The B looks like an aerial view of them, the 2 o's look like a front view, and the b looks like a side view.
3)When I kill a spider in my bathroom, I don't clean it up. I leave it there so the other spiders know not to fuck with me.
4)Sharks aren't the bad guys. If some stranger entered my house in just a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
5)I'm playing the African version of Monopoly. So far, I've got 4 mud huts, 3 cows, a chicken, and aids.
6)My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
7)#wordsthatcanstartawar The Simpsons is better than Family Guy.
8)"Fucking" is one of those fucking words you can fucking put anyfuckingwhere in a sentence and it still makes fucking sense.
9)Did any bad guy in Scooby Doo actually commit a crime? I'm pretty sure wearing a silly mask and scaring the sh*t out of ppl isn't illegal.
10)Yelling, 'HEY SLUT' and watching 15 girls turn around. Awkward.
Stīvijs Griffins ( Stewie Griffin ) http://twitter.com/Stewie_Griffinn
1) I fell off a 50ft ladder yesterday... luckily I was on the bottom step.
2)That awkward moment when you realize Rebecca Black's song "FRIDAY" came out on a Thursday..
3)Think about it...Spongebob has a bunch of holes and Patrick has a bunch of pointy pink things....coincidence, I think not
4)I'm having deju vu and amnesia at the same time I think I've forgotten this before.
5)OH SHIT ITS THE COPS! everyone look as white as you can!
6)Remember: Eat your school. Stay in drugs. and don't do vegetables!
7)There's 3 types of people in this world. people who can count, and people who can't
8)If I had Morgan Freeman's voice I would sit in a corner and talk to myself for days.
9)Were you born on the highway? Cause that's where most accidents happen!
10)You're not popular.. your Vagina is.
11)Yo_ sho_ld go F_ck yo_rself.... all that's missing is "U"
12)There are two rules for success. 1: don't tell all you know.
13)Female drivers: the reason people look both ways while crossing a one way street
14)I may look calm, but in my head I've already thought of 348 ways to kill you and one of them involves a chicken and a butter knife.
15)Going to McDonalds and ordering a Salad is like going to a hooker and asking for a Hug...
16)I'm not saying you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you're thinking!
17)scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today's Joke
18)I've been disappointed so many times,not giving a fuck is almost a reflex
19)I feel like every question should be answered with... GOOGLE THAT SHIT.
20)everytime i see a truck with logs i think "oh hell no!" FINAL DESTINATION!!
21)If you can't fix it with duct tape, you haven't used enough
22)that awkward moment when a girl doesn't pick the iron in monopoly
23)I'm going to microwave a spider and let it bite me... superpowers here I come!
24)You're living proof that somebody can live without a brain.
25)Do you have twitter? -yes Facebook? -yes Messenger?-yes Tumblr?-yes Life?- I made an account but I barely check it
26)What do I have that's 17 inches long, can make women scream and gets me great sex? ... My knife
27)That awkward moment When someone dies in the living room
28)You have a disease on your face and its called ugly
29)Man, I'm more confused than a deaf guy listening to music...
30)If dicks had wings your mouth would be an airport.
Glens Kvagmaiers ( Glenn Quagmire ) http://twitter.com/GlennQuagmireFG
1)When I go to sleep I put on a-condom, I don't trust myself when I sleep walk.
2)Girls complain when guys stare at their titties when they talk, but If our dick-was on our chest I bet they'd do the same thing.
3)WIFE: Washing, Ironing, F-cking, etc.
4)Spending Valentine's Day in prison has taught me one thing, "It's better to give than receive."
5)Writing out my valentines day card. It starts with, "Dear Hand..."
6)Fat girls swallow because they're hungry.
7)What's the difference between Christmas and your grandmother naked? You're not thinking of Christmas right now.
8)Old people used to annoy me at weddings by saying "you're next!" They stopped all that when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
9)I entered a masturbation contest last week. I came last. #Giggity
10)hot girl came to clean my windows, she said "have you got a ladder I can go up on?" I replied No, but I have got a snake you can go down on.
Braiens Griffins ( Brian Griffin ) http://twitter.com/Brian_GriffinFG
1)Notice how Rebecca Black's song is exactly like Justin Bieber's Baby? Same chords, same tune & a black rapper.
2)The condom broke but can I say in advance, I AM NOT THE FATHER. #DontSayThatAfterSex
3)Never say never...Unless someone asks if you're going to see the new Justin Bieber film.
4)Say what you like about Egypt...No seriously, they don't have the internet, they won't find out.
5)That awkward moment when Chris Brown see's a hot girl and says "I'd hit that"
6)I visited my doctor 3 days ago, and he told me I need to stop drinking. I listened to his advice, but I am extremely thirsty now.
7)#HowToKeepAWoman get her nothing for her birthday, tell her materials dont matter & your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
8)#ihatewhenpeople say "It's for the best" My friend said that when I broke up with my ex. So I said the same to him when his mother died.
9)Thousands of troops can't find Osama Bin Laden. Send in the Jehovah's Witnesses, they find everyone
10)Just bought the latest Flight simulation game, I'm very impressed. Overall I would give it 9/11.
11)I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink every night.
